Forgiving Viggo seemed impossible. He didn’t deserve my forgiveness. He put my life in danger; he neglected me, dishonored me, and abandoned me.
Viggo was my husband at the time. He made the decisions, and I dutifully followed him. We traveled from Long Island, New York, to San Antonio, Texas. With each passing mile, we became closer to the danger that awaited us. I had no idea we were walking into a biker gang war, but Viggo knew, and he had unresolved conflicts with this rival gang.
My story of redemption and restoration of a broken heart begins with a misguided search for love and acceptance that lured me into a world of drugs and life in an outlaw motorcycle gang. Caught up in a violent gang war, I became a victim of two gunshot wounds when a rival gang opened fire on our clubhouse with M16 rifles.
For six months, I endured several procedures and surgeries in the hope of fusing my shattered bones. Pain and suffering became my constant companions. Viggo abandoned me alone in my hospital bed entirely dependant on the nursing staff. I never saw him again. My injuries required the following year in intense rehabilitation therapy.God commands us to forgive, but it requires a conscious choice to do so. It is not a feeling but an action. I did not want to live in the past and develop a heart full of bitterness and guilt. I tried to accept reality and move… Click To Tweet
Forgiving someone does not mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness does require a willingness to open old wounds and let God show you the offending person as He sees them. This would be tough for me. I still held onto anger and resentment towards Viggo.
I became a victim of injustice. I did not personally know the gang members who shot me. The night of the attack, my silhouette illuminated in the dark. The crippling bullets forever changed my life. Viggo didn’t physically pull the trigger, but he was the catalyst behind the bullets. He knew those who fired the bullets. He knew they were violent and dangerous men who wanted revenge for past crimes against their gang.
Many times, I asked the Lord to help me forgive him. Somedays, I needed to ask several times. I could not forget the emotional, physical, and spiritual trauma Viggo caused me. I wanted restoration from the Lord. With each conscious act of forgiveness, I loosened the destructive grip Viggo held over my life.In the book of Matthew, Jesus reveals that forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving. Forgiveness is essential to the Lord. This act of obedience gives us the reward of freedom. Click To Tweet
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 NKJV)
I knew God saw my broken heart and heard my prayers of repentance. Instead of seeing myself as a victim, I saw myself as a survivor and an overcomer. I wish my past could have been different. It was the choices I made that brought the consequences of pain and suffering.
Instead, I chose to accept my past and trust God with my future. It was time for me to walk in forgiveness, even if it required a lifetime of forgiving.
Thank you, Lord for showing us the freedom found in forgiveness.
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Thanks for sharing!
Love and Blessings,